Wednesday 29 August 2012

Galtres Festival 2012

The other weekend I endured the joy of sleeping two people to a one man tent and wrecking my back purely because it was my favourite time of the family year. No, I don't mean my birthday - that was two weeks ago. I mean that it was time for the best family outing I get every year, to the Galtres festival. This particular festival seems to be the only one where I can find decent vegetarian take-out food, but the food isn't all, only just a bonus.

Galtres has so much going on for family; unusual things - unless jousting and falconry are something you see everyday, a jam packed programme of workshops and entertainment for both children and adults as well as fantastic bands playing, which often introduces me to those I didn't know of before. If it wasn't for Galtres, I may never have even discovered Blackbeard's Tea Party.

I have to say, I was sad to see the Angel Gardens not there this year since I had a bet on with 'the Poi lady' that this year we'd have a spin off but busking, bands and the 'gyspy' gypsy tent kept me well occupied and entertained.

As far as acts go, there were some fantastic ones. Feeds, Ellen and the Escapades, The Happy Endings, Victoria Hume and Bootscraper are definite recommendations, and also Sarah Horn & James Cudworth who were in The Undecided last year absolutely captivated everybody with their fabulous folk music. Unfortunately for them, the paragliding photographer was making a distraction of himself whilst they played, but what else do you expect from this festival really?

I did enjoy all of the headline acts, apart from Adam Ant who I listened to for five minutes before deciding that I'm probably not the right age and don't have the right tastes to even begin to quite understand the appeal. (Sorry to any fans reading this!)

The highlight of Galtres for me was undoubtedly Ellen and the Escapades. I've been following them on Twitter for a while, but hadn't realized they were playing so I was quite surprised when I did and went to see them. Four words: vocally and instrumentally flawless.

One thing I've learnt though is that I'm starting to turn into a music snob, tearing other people's vocal technique apart in my head when in reality I have no right because I make the same mistakes. This doesn't bode well. I must switch off the Maureen Hunter voice from my head.

Anyway, until next year Galtres!

Click here for information about the festival.
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Tuesday 14 August 2012

Spring Cleaning My Whole Life

"Why on earth do I have so much stuff?" I asked myself only after I'd pulled out the entire contents of my wardrobe. I don't think I realized that my hoarding habit had got quite that ridiculous until then. I mean, it was so bad that I was shocked not to find mini lost Amazonian tribes in there in their own little mini world.

This week is my designated 'spring clean' because lo and behold, my 16th birthday arrives this Thursday and I want to clear out the shit of school and my past and have a new, fresh start. New college, new friends, being discharged from the CAHMS system, a fresher room and a new me is exactly what I need, and exactly what I'm making happen.

I'm going to explain some of my story today, which is a tender subject, but hopefully it'll help you to understand my music and my outlook more, and just how much it means to me that some people like my music.

Basically, I've always had troubles when it came to people and being accepted. In primary school I was always 'the fat one',  and in secondary school I was always too 'weird' to be seen with. I studied hard, I dressed flamboyantly, I loved all sorts of unusual things compared to other people, and I hated most things that were 'in'. And obviously because of the way people treated me, spoke about me, the physical trials they put me through and also other factors which made me wary of the opposite gender, I began to hate myself.
Understatement. I despised myself and I wanted to die so badly and there was nobody I could talk to. I'd pushed everybody who did care away and tried everything to cope with my feelings; various forms of self harm and trying to make myself perfect. But I don't want to dwell on the past now. I will blog about my eating disorder some other time in relation to the media and peer pressure, but not now. The point is, without having music and my online fandoms to help me, I probably wouldn't be here. Being in and out of counselling never really helped me, and school was shit at doing anything until the final year.

Anyway, the important thing now is to wake up every morning and thank God that he led me back to him after I lost all belief, hope, and general understanding of myself and be damn proud of myself for getting through it all. Even just 6 months ago, when I first attempted to become Astrid-Gwynedd I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and now I'm here. Okay, I still have some quite horrendous days and I am still on medication, but that's to be expected. The difference though, is incredible. I've learnt that although I may not be the most talented, intelligent or beautiful girl, and I may have quite a few extra pounds around my waist from binge eating due to stress, but what does it matter? I finally accept that I have a right to be just as happy as the next person, and if I want to be then I shouldn't care about these things. My unusual tastes make me more cultured, my looks don't matter compared to my nature and as long as I enjoy my hobbies that's all that matters.

And you know the ironic thing? I have more friends at college than any of those people who gave me problems at school.

I'd like to finish off this post by making a plea to anybody out there who feels victimized, worthless and suicidal. Tell somebody. Tell somebody who can do something. It's so difficult, but if you can talk about the way you feel then you're on the first step to finding your light and coming out of the darkness. Even if you want somebody else to do it for you and 'notice' to prove they care, you have to be the one to do it. You're the one in control, and you really are in control. One day, it could be you having come out of it all, stronger and better than the people who dragged you down and you're not alone. You never will truly be alone. Just remember how incredibly brave and amazing you are.

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Tuesday 7 August 2012

Things That Bemuse Me #5: The Hipster and The Pastel Hair Craze

Don't get me wrong, I love pastel hair, I really do. See my picture of my poor fading hair below. I dip dyed my hair pink because it was something that I've wanted to do from the age of 6.

However, what I can't understand is how now that I've left school and it's no longer against the rules, it's been gradually becoming the fashion for the last year. I'm no hipster, but I hate being 'mainstream' and the same as everybody else purely because I feel like I want to express who I am and if that becomes fashion then people will look at me as if I'm a mindless clone, or a sheep who just goes along with the herd. This is not true to my personality or intention. However, I do undeniably have pastel passion from my days of being lolita so anybody who has pastel coloured hair is +100 on my respect list. 

Anyway, my rant was not supposed to be about how people perceive me, it was supposed to be an online rambling about a quandry which has been perplexing me for quite some time now, and I would love for somebody to discuss and perhaps enlighten me to the answer.

In English, I mean 'who the heck started this?!'

My guess is that it stems from Tumblr girls, because let's face it, the famous ones are hipster. Here is a step by step guide to my current theory:

1. Hipsters on Tumblr.
2. Non-hipsters join Tumblr and follow hipsters.
3. They realize that hipsters look pretty darn cool and draw 'inspiration'
4. They end up looking exactly like a hipster.
5. Non Tumblr people see these Tumblr people who are half-hipster, see so many, copy, and it becomes in fashion.

I don't doubt that celebrities have done it also, it's just to me everybody nowadays looks hipster, just not all have the attitude. Honestly, if you're going to be hipster, why not just act it too?

Note: Yes, I do think most hipsters have an incredible dress sense and I would wear similar things if I wouldn't find it utter hypocrisy and  a walking oxymoron.

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